1:19pm
i just realized the reason i feel strange is probably because i did not eat any food today lol
1:33pm
OH i also forgot to mention i saw a ladybug today! it was almost in between the two doors to the math building, aka in danger of
being squished any time anyone opened or closed the doors. i obviously had to rescue it!! i took it to a nice tree. i hope it will
have a nice ladybug existence. at first i thought it was a nine-spotted ladybug since it had nine spots on each wing, but i think
it actually might a harmonia axyridis which is from a different genus
i think i may be in an animal mood because the other day i told my mom a variety of crow facts. i saw a cool video of a crow
speaking in russian and it even laughed like a russian which was really spooky lol. i also watched like a 20 minute video about a
guy teaching his octopus to play piano, which was cool. it kind of made me want to practice piano. also now that i know there are
multiple types of ladybugs i want to do research about them. i thought there was only like a few variations. i wonder what other
types of creatures i should research about! also i am in a slight mbti mood. and i also want to make a huge to do list of every
activity i ever want to do ever and then every day use a random number generator to pick something randomly to do. it is going to
be a VERY long list. aaaaaaa but i cannot do anything since i am in an english class.
...---..-.---...
10:30pm
i just rediscovered some very cringe interactions i had online when i was 12 and i am very concerned
1:03am
aaaa i really like python!! i always thought i am really terrible at coding but it is really fun actually! context: i finally
finished a programming assignment
also it is like 1:04am right now and i have a math test tomorrow so likeee i need to study for it. i shall be consuming more
caffeine soonly but my brain is telling me to listen to music asap so i shall do that first probably (hopefully it does not make
me fall asleep)
11:51am
ok so we had a fire in the middle of our math test so now we do not have to take it lol. i suspect theta may have been involved as
she was witnessed saying "burn the logs" shortly prior to the incident (in reference to logarithms obviously). she is not usually
an arsonist though. anyway it was just a little fire and the fire people came right away so it was not a big deal. it was kind of
scary at first though.
well, now i am out of class early and i don't even have any more homework due today besides studying for a very similar math test
that we will take tomorrow lol. my plan for existence includes: complete the 3 missing assignments i have not done yet while i am
still at school, then go home and do all the math problems from this section. wait we're like on week 8 or something, how is this
possible. that means only 2 weeks left of this quarter! and i'm not failing any of my classes! wait that is really good actually.
anyway, as soon as i finish all my homework i can finally start doing my regular schedule, which i have edited to include 2 hours
of music or video games every day so that i will not be dead inside from too much productivity. if i do not have time to do
relaxing things i shall not be motivated at all. wait i just realized i am going to have to reschedule everything for winter
quarter since it is coming.
also i suddenly remembered that there is a coffee shop on campus and that i possess money. i only got like 5.5 hours of sleep and
i greatly need a coffee. mmm cofffeee.
2:47am
ughh i have this annoying nose twitching thing where like i keep feeling a pulse in my nose bridge? and it's REALLY annoying
because it feels weird so i looked up why it happens and i guess it's if you do not get good sleep and/or drink too much coffee
;-; i feel very called out right now. i hope it goes away though because it's weird
9:52am
i am having great regrets of only completing a singular assignment due to being bothered by my nose thing last night. i was not
even that tired or anything, but i have at least four more assignments to do plus study for precalculus (since my math professor
gives like 2 quizzes per week). anyway since computer class is a computer-allowed class i shall do some homework during class.
btw i have not seen that guy again but i keep looking to see if he will walk by, but if he does i don't want him to think i'm
looking at him, so i am trying not to look too much.
if i get all of my homework done ever i am going to play so much minecraft later because it is my favorite!! i must consume more
caffeine though because otherwise i will fall asleep on the bus home and then i will not complete any assignments and then i will
not get to play any minecraft. except, every time i want to play minecraft i am conflicted because i have a variety of worlds i
play on. i have my survival forever world, my creative building world, my multiplayer survival world (cozymc), and my ancient
version that i play on (pre-classic rd-132211). anyway soon i am actually going to start doing my schedule again, maybe. i think i
might need to adjust it so that i have more free time because otherwise i will never be motivated.
10:32am
i got distracted by making my schedule since now i was thinking about it, but then my teacher was like "ARE YOU TAKING NOTES FOR
this class" and i said "yes" and he said that i am typing too loud ;-; i always have a habit where like i hit the spacebar really
hard. it just sounds nice when it's really loud, so it sounds normal to me, but i did not even realize that it probably bothers
everyone else. anyway i technically was not taking notes but now i am taking notes so that i am not a liar.
12:59pm
blegh the nose thing is back. i dislike it. anyway i have been re-doing some of my schedule! except, i just realized i am typing
loudly again and i need to not do that. today i am going to go home, drink coffee, and then i shall complete 1 hour of minecraft,
1 hour of homework, 1 more hour of minecraft, and so on. i shall do this until midnight. then i shall go to bed and wake up and
do my morning routine and keep doing homework until i am done. because it's VETERANS DAY YAY!!! i really appreciate the veterans
for protecting america and also for giving us an extra day off!! i desperately need an extra day to get caught up on stuff. right
now i really want to work on my schedule but i also do not want my classmates to observe me.
i am now considering whether i want to take a nap before i do any minecraft or homework. i am very tired after all. i apparently
got 4 hours and 44 minutes of sleep last night. my watch thing also thinks i woke up for like 5 minutes at 5:28am but i do not
remember if it is true lol. lately i do not like taking naps though, because i fall asleep for like 2 hours and when i wake up it
is dark and i feel miserable. but then i am able to stay up so much later and get so much more done! also lately i keep looking at
social media which i need to not do! i was even having a good mental health like 2 weeks ago and i need to not have a bad mental
health. also if i get enough sleep and eat food i actually do not feel as awful all the time and i do not fail my classes. so i
need to not look at the internet for 5-6 hours every day which i have been doing ;-; it is like really addictive which is bad. i
am starting to get a caffeine addiction too, but that will probably go away as soon as i start getting sleep
10:59am
OK SO earlier i saw that cute guy again. i was not sure if i would see him again ever and the thing is i was completely not
expecting to see him. i was literally walking to my class and like he just walked past me!!! i immediately recognized him too idk
how i did that i just knew it was him. i was really surprised. i am super happy now. except, i still have no idea what to do!!!!
i am so scared to talk to him and i don't even know when or where or how i should do that. i thought i was completely over my
crush mood but as soon as i saw him i felt all fluttery and blushing and all of those weird lovey things. actually it is probably
good because yesterday i was thinking about my ex and i was practically back to liking him again. i seriously need to have a
better crush than him since he is getting married soonish.
well the mysterious cute guy is a good person to have a crush on but i don't know anything about him at all and i have never
talked to him and it is not likely that he will talk to me. also i am terrible at being an interesting person for the first time
with people. i think i am somewhat interesting with people i already know, at least to the extent that they are interested in
whatever i am ranting about. anyway i cant do that with him which is the problem
9:57am
i am at school once more and i want to go home as always, but at least i am less exhausted than i am sometimes. i honestly want
to skip my math class because i hate it a little bit. the professor is good at teaching and everything but i just do not feel like
doing math sometimes. i will still go to it though. my attention span just has not been working well lately!! specifically it has
been worse than usual. wait and i just realized i left all my pencils and pens at home. i need to not do that! aha but i have an
extra pencil! i shall use that to like draw or something idk.
9:58am
welcome to november my favorite month!!! it is the 11th month ever in the year which is fabulous. anyway i am still OBSESSED with
minecraft!!!! except i was playing yesterday with artemis and she found SO many diamonds and then skeletons killed us and all our
diamonds despawned, along with our special enchanted diamond pickaxes and bows and a bunch of our pumpkin pie. then theta logged
on and tried to rescue our stuff but then she and artemis and i all got lost in the cave and none of us had a pickaxe. well, it
was a bit frustrating lol. we had about 100 diamonds, so there are now 100 fewer diamonds in that minecraft world lol. nicely, i
still have 57 diamonds that i mined on my own a different time, which is more than enough to craft a new pickaxe and buy some
enchantments and do whatever else i might want to do with diamonds. but still!!! we should have ignored that skeleton spawner
then none of this would have happened.
anyway so i decided to play on the 1st version of minecraft ever that is available in the launcher which is rd-132211 and is much
less stressful since there are not any skeletons at all in that version. although, it is just a giant cobblestone square floating
in the middle of the sky with a bit of grass on top, so it is not the most interesting either. i made a small floating house which
was more satisfying than getting killed by monsters.
i decided that the more minecraft i play, the more homework i do also, so i am going to make sure to turn in my essay today before
class and do another english assignment and do my computer assignment. today is such a long day, i'm at school until 2:30 :/. i
am not mentally prepared for this week lol. but i am going to do my homework though! also i finally watered my plants earlier so
perhaps they shall finally be a happy plant. i have not watered the poor things in like two weeks.
10:45am
i was just looking at some recordings i made of playing minecraft, and like, our island used to be so small and plain. its kind
of nostalgic lol. except that was from 1 week ago so i dont know if it can be nostalgic yet lol.
12:05pm
apparently it is the birthday of someone from my high school! he is probably 1 month older than i am
10:41am
HAPPY. HALLOWEEN. ok so i actually have a crush on someone kind of which is really weird. except i have no clue why i have a crush
on this person. there was a guy standing at the bus stop yesterday talking to his friend, and idk he was just really cute. like
he had a similar vibe as my first high school crush, and actually he even looked like him a little bit, except he was shorter
though. i do not know how to describe him, but he was fashionable and cool and very talkative. but the problem is he was not even
speaking english, he was speaking some random language i've never heard of??? it was not spanish french italian japanese korean
chinese or at least i did not think so. how am i supposed to be in love with this guy if i do not know what he is talking about??
but i have not even had a real crush on anyone for three years so i forgot what it feels like and its so weird because my like i
get the heart fluttering thing whenever i think about him and i DONT KNOW WHY!!! i am not sure if i will even see him again ever
so probably it will go away though! but what do i do if i see him again? should i say hello?? should i try to be friends with
him??? i cant even talk to regular people lol, what am i going to do
also, sunday through wednesday this week i played 1.5 days of minecraft, which averages to 9 hours a day, which is a reasonable
amount btw! last night i only played for an hour or two because i was paranoid that someone will come take all the diamonds from
the diamond cave before i had a chance, but i had to mine a bunch of lapis lazuli and redstone to get enough xp to enchant my
pickaxe with fortune iii, and then i mined all the diamonds i could find and i got 26 entire diamonds!!!!!!! there are still more
in there though, i got lost so i did not even find all of them! there are more in there!! btw i have no clue why this entire entry
is bold?? but it matches how i am feeling so i shall keep it
10:38am
teacher let us out of class early yay. anyway this morning my sister and i were agreeing about harry potter and trying to figure
out which characters we would be. we decided she is mcgonagall and lupin, because she aspires to be mcgonagall and she most likely
gives people chocolate like lupin and he is an infj like her and a 9w1 which is similar to her enneagram (1w9). also mcgonagall
and lupin are both in gryffindor i think. we decided i am hagrid and luna, because hagrid likes animals, and luna is a ravenclaw
and an infp like me lol.
anyway then i decided to wear my hufflepuff sweater because i am in a harry potter mood. i am not in hufflepuff btw. the reason i
have a hufflepuff sweater is because i inherited it from my sister, who is also not a hufflepuff. she is gryffindor and i am
ravenclaw. but i was wearing this! and then i was walking to computer class and the computer/math classmate was looking at me for
once so i smiled at her nicely, and then when i sat down she was like "you are hufflepuff?" and i was like "yes!" and she was like
"i'm ravenclaw." so she actually talked to me!! but then i was like, "actually i am ravenclaw but i am just wearing a hufflepuff
sweater" and i tried to explain the sister thing but it did not make sense lol. anyway then she told me about how she and her
cousins/friends/someone is rewriting the entire script for the cursed child because they did not like it!! which i thought was an
amazing idea. but the entire time i was trying to not say that i have actually only read the first book, because then she would
think i was not a harry potter fan. i am going to read all of the books asap now because i want to be friends with her!! also, i
asked her who her favorite character is and she said hagrid and luna. how fabulous!! also, this person has the same name as my
sister's best friend which would be funny if i was friends with her because my sister has a friend who has the same name as MY
best friend and then we could collectively have a variety of friends with the same name.
also i realized i forgot all of my pencils at home AGAIN so i asked St. Anthony to help me find a pencil, and sure enough i found
a random pen on the ground a few minutes later! it was slightly broken but i fixed it!
well tomorrow i have a harry potter group presentation for my english class, so i intend to wear my hufflepuff sweater and my
ravenclaw scarf to confuse everyone lol.
12:05pm
html is no longer programming language i know because i am learning some python at school!! i am feeling unusually motivated today
because i just had a math exam and i think i did well on it. i might have messed up one of the problems but i shall see. and i
finally figured out how to do the pseudocode assignment that i turned in like 4 days late. the reason for that is because the
rubric made no sense so i decided i must have zoned out during the lecture and missed something important. so after
procrastinating i finally found the time to listen to the long lecture, but it did not help me understand the assignment at all!
i basically gave up. but this morning, i discovered that if you access the assignment from a different link, you can actually see
what the instructions are. i did not even realize it had instructions! so finally i turned it in, but i will probably not get very
many points, if my professor even grades it. i don't understand the point of pseudocode though. it makes sense if you're making
complicated programs in a complicated language, but python seems easy to understand by itself. and even if part of your code was
complicated, why would you not just add a comment to explain it instead of making an entire new document??
i must quickly complete my english assignment before class starts but i shall write more things later
8:18pm
ughhhhhh i do not feel like doing anything. i only need to do my one computer assignment that is due today, but on the weekend i
need to do research about the ministry of magic. because i am in a harry potter group presentation thing and we have to present on
wednesday. by the way i have only read the first harry potter book so i do not know a lot of things about the ministry of magic
even though that's my part of the presentation. i just know i'm a ravenclaw :(
to be honest, all of my problems would be fixed if i just had a nice mug of tea or coffee. i was about to go get some tea and egg
nog and sparkling water and all those good beverages, but then i realized that i only got five or six hours of sleep last night
and i'm really tired and i want to go to bed tonight. because if i do not go to bed early enough i will be absolutely grumpy and
unproductive tomorrow. and whenever i have caffeine i stay up until midnight or 1am which is too late. i mean like i can have the
egg nog and the sparkling water. but i cannot have the tea. UGH i want tea. the other day i realized i might be addicted to
caffeine but then i decided i am not but i think i might actually be. that is probably not good, but after all i am a college
student so what can you expect from me! i never even drink a full cup, i drink like a third of a cup unless i'm really exhausted
lol.
i am so hungry too which does not help. i seriously want some grapes or something. by the way, i wonder if my sister confessed her
love to her person at the pumpkin patch today. that was the plan because she's always trying to flirt with him and then he just
blushes and doesn't say anything. but she decided she needs to resolve it before she comes home to visit because otherwise what
will she tell mom and dad! because she goes to trader joe's with him and she goes studying with him and she goes to barnes and
noble with him and it seems like she goes everywhere in the world with this guy! every day! so if she starts telling our parents
about him how will she make an excuse for how often she spends time with him unless they are together lol.
ugh i am hungry. i greatly desire bread pudding or cinnamon rolls. yes cinnamon rolls. oh that reminds me i had a really good idea
for my book!! also, i even wrote some of my book today! i wrote something like 700 words which is a decent amount. i am not quite
as bad at writing as i thought, but i am still terrible lol. i think i will put the book idea on a different page, maybe in the
dark realm page.
9:46pm
i was playing skribbl.io to procrastinate doing my english homework. then someone in the chat left to go study and then i said in
the chat that i also need to study, but then someone else in the chat said i should study and that they believe in me. so now i
NEED to do my homework. UGH.
anyway my google photos just recommended some old photos to me. they were from earlier this year when my hair was shorter and i
had actual bangs and i was a vibe even though i was failing school back then. but now i am tempted to cut my bangs again WHICH is
a terrible idea because i've been growing them out for months and they're already 6-7 inches long. i did not have a ruler so i
measured how long they are using my pixel 7a which is 6 inches long lol. anyway, my bangs are almost long enough to put behind my
ears which will be the best day ever when they get that long. because it is SO ANNOYING to have them in my face all the time. i
must not give up on my goal of growing them longer. and then i will turn them into real curtain bangs for the sake of having a
fabulous hair style, even though regular bangs are the classic sofos hair style. yes "hairstyle" is one word but i like to spell
it as two words. i probably should stop doing that since i am part german and i do not want to disappoint my ancestors who
probably stuck every word together to make a new word. anyway that is not relevant.
there was this song when i was a child called "on top of spaghetti" and my sister and i were obsessed with it. one time i was
bored and asked my sister to make me a list of things to do so she made "50 things for elizabeth to do" and one of the things was
to sing "on top of spaghetti" every time someone sneezes (or every time someone eats spaghetti). the sneezing is an important part
of the plot in case you have not heard the song. for some reason it feels like a sad song though, like aww the poor meatball :(
by the way i drank coffee at like 8:30pm which is a terrible idea. except, i was tired so i actually have the regular amount of
energy for 9:58pm. my internet goes off in 2 minutes which is so sad because i need to homework and music. i need music. music.
11:17am
today is saturday which is one of the best days! it is even on my top 10 days of the week. my grand plan for today is taking a
shower and choosing a nice outfit and then doing homework and then going to the park. i most likely should call that one ex
boyfriend who wants to call me, maybe i shall talk to him after i go to the park. i still have no idea what to do about him but i
am not worried about it. it is his own fault he wants to talk to me so much. hopefully he is not trying to steal my information.
i do have a lot of homework to do because i keep procrastinating lol. it is mostly math homework though.
i want to redo my entire wardrobe which is possibly difficult. i want to give away most of my clothing and only have some clothes.
i looked up all of the things to find what clothes would look good on me. there are so many things about what looks good with your
body type, height, hair color, skin tone, etc. so of course i made a list of all of them! there is also the Marian modesty idea
where you can be extremely modest. it's like having long dresses, elbow length sleeves, high neckline, and wearing loose clothes
instead of fitted clothes. in my opinion it is not bad to wear shorter sleeves or pants or whatever. but i thought that wearing
long dresses and skirts all the time would be lovely. and i also want to wear clothes that are made of linen, cotton, wool, etc
instead of polyester, which i mentioned before. these are all the reasons why i want to change my wardrobe! i already have a list
of all the clothing i want, and what season and formality each belongs to. for example, today is a "fall weekend out" day since it
is october and saturday and i am going to the park instead of staying inside. the clothes listed under the fall weekend out
category include brown boots, a long dark chocolate brown skirt, a black top, a navy blue cardigan, an olive green shoulder bag,
and a bright red skirt. these are all of the options i could choose from, if i had any of these clothes! but the only one i have
is the brown boots and the black top! and the black top i have is a black t-shirt, not a flowy long sleeve black vintage blouse
like i would like to have!!
so that is my issue! it is hard to choose outfits when i do not have my desired clothing pieces. it is not a large issue. i
already have clothes i like. someday in the future i will have my favorite clothing and i will be extremely happy about it.
also since it is a new month it is also a new theme! the september theme is classified, but the october theme is based on my name.
which is not classified but i still will not say it lol. anyway, last month's overwatch heroes were mercy and d.va, but this
month's heroes are ashe and ana! i am decent at mercy and okay at d.va, but i am terrible at ashe and ana. so i was worried about
what to do. i do not want to let my team down in quick play. so i had an amazing idea! i went to the practice range and i went to
the firing range area. then i practiced my aim on both the targets and the training bots, on every possible distance setting and
movement style. i got lots of practice that way. i only practiced ashe so far, not ana.
next i will create a custom game and play against every difficulty of ai. there are many available difficulties. after i do that,
i will play mystery heroes and see if i get ashe, and then i will play no limits and see if everyone else chooses ashe. and
finally i will start playing ashe in quick play.
i think it is a good idea. to be honest people usually do not judge you even if you are bad at playing the hero. especially if it
is someone hard to play like ashe. but i still wish to be a little bit good at her.
also, i must remember to water my plants later. i am so excited for my grow light to arrive. my plants will be so happy. woogyu
even grew a new leaf and is growing another baby little one, so i know he is still alive. and the stem that is growing new leaves
is less droopy and sad than his other remaining stem. i am going to be so sad if he becomes a dead plant. i feel so bad for
accidentally killing mobius, who was my sister's favorite plant. i did not really kill him, i just could not keep him alive. they
need a lot of sunlight and i have a north facing window. my grow light will make all of my plants happy. perhaps i will even buy
some new plants sometime!
4:41pm
well, i took a shower and chose a nice outfit, but i did not get to doing homework, going to the park, calling the ex boyfriend,
or watering my plants. instead i got my box and it had my highlighting powder and my charger in it, and then i drove to the coffee
place with my dad and then i drove to the plant and animal store with my dad and i bought some orchid bark and a few pots for
various plants. this is my new grand plan for the rest of the day: log into old laptop (the one i needed the charger for), pray
rosary for october, do homework, repot necessary plants, water plants. and my grand plan for tomorrow is: go to church, go to
brother's house to check what color his living room is, go to the park with mom, call ex boyfriend possibly, pray october rosary
some more. and i suppose i will try to update my website tomorrow also.
reminder: i must remember to play wordle every day, perhaps during free time at school. today the word was "relay". i also tried
the strands game on the new york times and the theme was "bring it home" and all the themed words were things that made no sense,
like "magnet" and "spoon". then i found the perfect word for something that you actually would bring home: souvenir!! so of course
i put it in! and it did not count lol!!! is that on purpose? how does this game work!!
5:01pm
APPARENTLY the correct word was actually "souvenirs" so i guess it was just not plural enough. i was about to go crazy from
confusion but now i will not go crazy.
4:46pm
i realized it was a long time since i looked forward to anything. i always try to look forward to things but then feel
disappointed when they happen. but i am so excited for when my sister is coming to visit on october 12! i have not seen her since
july this year. it is the first thing i have looked forward to this entire year. then i made my first amazon order ever yesterday.
i ordered a grow light for my poor plants, a laptop charger, and some highlighting powder. ever since i discovered the existence
of highlighting powder i wanted some. the things i ordered are coming in a few days and i am really excited about it.
also today is my parents' anniversary so my dad decorated the table with pretty floral dishes, little wine glasses, leaf-shaped
soy sauce dishes, and the nice chopsticks. and he bought some beautiful pink flowers for my mom. i think they are carnations. we
are going to have delicious sushi for dinner. i am not 21 so i am going to have pineapple juice instead of wine lol. my dish has a
pink peony on it, my mom's dish has a blue hydrangea, my dad's dish has an african daisy, and my brother's dish has a magnolia.
they are my favorite dishes that we even have!
10:36am
HAPPY OCTOBER!!!! it is officially not september anymore!!! yay!!! i am not necessarily a september fan but it is not like i
dislike it. it is the same thing as march where it is in the middle of two seasons annoyingly. i just want it to be chilly out so
i can wear sweaters and cardigans without overheating. anyway i keep awkwardly running into this one girl who is in my computer
class and my math class. the most awkward thing was when she was sitting at one of the tables in the math building and i THOUGHT
she said "hi" to me so i went over and was like "hi you're in my computer class!" and she just stared at me and then she started
taking out her earbuds which i did not realize she had in so i immediately felt guilty for bothering her. and she was like,
"sorry what?" and i just repeated what i said again and then she stared at me some more so i just went away then. i sit right next
to her too and now she probably thinks i am some insane person. i was absolutely sure i heard her say hi though!! anyway just now
i was in the bathroom of the math building and i was about to go out and she came right in and made eye contact with me! why must
there be eye contact! so in case you ever feel like an awkward person just remember that i am more awkward
also i am reading the most amazing book called though my soul more bent by maria kreiser and i have been reading it for like 3
years at this point because i kept starting over lol. also i am a really slow reader. the number one reason to have bookmarks is
so that you will stop starting over, no matter how much you are tempted to. i got a bookmark and started reading whenever i am on
the bus so now i am finally halfway through! it is even a true story and i just want to know what is going to happen to her! it is
really sad though so i would not recommend it for people who do not like sad things :( i shall have to add a review of it to my
new reviews page! i am not good at writing reviews at all, but i still wanted to have a reviews page.
also there was an attractive guy in the math building giving out free little apple and strawberry strudels or whatever those
things were. i said that i will take a strawberry one because there are not as many left so that must mean they are more popular.
he agreed about that. my dad said i must visit the math lab if i ever need math help. i will feel guilty for taking a math lab
strawberry strudel and never visiting the math lab, so i will certainly visit if i ever need math help!! it is so scary though
because it is always crowded with so many math people so if you come in they will probably talk to you, and i do not want them to
talk to me! i do like people and everything but whenever someone says something to me i am too surprised to think of a very good
response. i bet that is what happens to the staring girl also. i must go to my math class now so goodbye!
6:50pm
i am such blegh because i accidentally saw some mean comments on youtube which bothered me. anyway that was a while ago but i am
doing homework right now but the assignment is so tedious. it's all like how does this character use ethos pathos logos kairos, is
the character successful, what is the message of the story, how does the author use ethos pathos logos kairos, is the author
successful, etc. it is literally not difficult to answer any of these questions but it is sometimes stressful because i have way
too many thoughts for my own good. like i could write a 150 word response just explaining how the character uses ethos! but i am
supposed to write 150 words for the whole thing! i managed to get my response down to about 300 words but i spent like an hour
on this somehow because i am really thorough :/
and i have another entire question i have to answer and it will probably take forever because i hate writing because it takes so
much thinking. this is why i am a math major, because it does not require writing or thinking lol. the thinking is mostly "do i
know how to do math or am i stupid" and in english class it's like "i keep using the word 'very' too often and all my sentences
start with 'however' and did i accidentally make it sound like an ai wrote it and why can i not just put the link to the website
instead of using mla format and oh no my research idea was too controversial and oops i cant use first person and oh all my words
need to come out of the darkest corners of a thesaurus or else i will look like an idiot!!"
anyway i was reconsidering my opinion about writing because i do like some types of writing actually, like journaling or putting
things on my website and sometimes working on my story (which i actually had soo much inspiration for yesterday yay). but the
reason i like doing those things is because they make it so i can remove the thoughts from my brain and put them in the paper.
whereas homework writing is always causing me to have unneccessary and meaningless thoughts! it is so obvious that poor mr. eckels
is using pathos and kairos but he doesn't use it well enough to keep from getting killed... but why must i think about it
extensively! the meaning of the story is so obvious without overthinking! (the story we had to read was 'a sound of thunder' which
is an amazing story and you probably have already read it because it is quite well known.)
anyway that is my rant and yes i am kind of just putting a bunch of nonsense that probably does not make any sense. this is
literally my second time retaking english 201 because i kept procrastinating the essays and then failing and withdrawing lol. but
i mean there were some medical related things that were going on at the same time also, it was not entirely me being stupid. if i
was taking english for the first time i would most likely hate it less.
i mostly just want to watch a star trek but i have no idea if that will happen ever in my life. my dad vanished and he is my star
trek dad who i watch star trek with. i have no idea what star trek we would even watch but i kind of really want to watch an
enterprise. i want to see t'pol because she is basically my favorite. i was supposed to finish my homework before star trekking
but the issue is that my dad goes to bed at like 9pm and usually we start a show at 7pm and right now it is 7:23pm. wait i really
really want to watch a voyager because i miss captain janeway. she is actually my favorite captain to exist. and she is in love
with chakotay. i too am in love with chakotay.
i also miss my sister because i have not seen her in ages but we did have a very long video chat yesterday. she has a huge crush
on her friend who is apparently the sweetest and most amazing person ever. and they are also study buddies and have done various
cute things together like going to the harry potter play. and he bought a kitkat for her because she loves kitkat. i am very happy
for her that she has now found the best person!! i approve of him greatly. but i think i will not find the best person because i
am not myself the best person. at least i shall perhaps become a nice data scientist and have some data science friends. i have no
idea. somehow the world feels like it is a good place and a bad place at the same time. like i need to hide in case something bad
happens to me, but also if i don't go and find the good people then something bad will happen to them instead. i have no clue if
that makes any sense at all lol. i am so emotional today because everything feels so dark and lonely but also peaceful? and it
makes me feel very sad. i really love animals though and i kind of want to be a fish or something. maybe after watching a star
trek i shall watch a documentary about fish.
12:56pm
today i decided to look in my favorite mirror in the math building because they have a giant mirror that is perfect for checking
my outfit. anyway, my computer building was a 10 minute walk across campus but i only had 8 minutes to get there. i managed to get
to class just in time! i was surprised to notice my heart rate was like 178 bpm! anyway, after computer class i had math class so
i had to walk back to the math building again. i thought i could find a better route and get there more quickly, but instead i
found a worse route and got lost which led to me getting there 1 minute late :|
anyway i am now in english class and technically class started but we have a free writing time for like 7 minutes so i am freely
writing on my website. next time maybe i will update my website in my one hour break instead of during class lol. we are allowed
to write about whatever we want or use the prompt, but the prompt is "what are your goals and expectations for this class" which
is my least favorite prompt so i am writing about whatever i want instead.
also i was planning to sit in the front row of all my classes but i accidentally sat in the back row of english on the first day
of class so now i have to keep sitting here so i don't steal anyone's spot. but now there is an empty seat in the front row where
i could have sat and that table is even full of cute guys :( and it sounds like we are going to be in groups which means i cannot
even sit there next time or else i would be abandoning my group! anyway but goodbye because i must focus for the rest of my
class!!
7:28pm
today was my first day back at college nicely! it was a good day and all my professors were nice. i have a better way to take
notes and keep track of my assignments this quarter than last quarter. sadly i do have to sacrifice some note prettiness but it is
worth it in the end. anyway, it was too stressful to always make pretty notes. but my notes still look nice because i use a black
pen and highlight or circle the titles.
anyway, i was very productive just now because i nicely moved 14gb of videos to my non-main account. what happened is that i
wanted to transfer my photos from my ipod to my google account before my ipod withers away, so i set it to download photos to my
main account. everything was fine until a few days later i was getting alerts that i used up 95% of my storage. i am pretty sure i
only made this account back in july so it is basically brand new and should not have that much storage used on it! it is my
favorite account ever <3 but i do have a few other favorites though! i definitely do not have more than the recommended number
of google accounts so do not worry!
unfortunately i must do 2 hours of homework pretty soon but that is because i must homework. to be honest i don't have very many
assignments since this was my very first day back, but there were a lot of readings that i should probably take notes on. i am
behind on my schedule so i am only going to do homework and my to do list every day until i am caught up. probably it will just be
a day or two because i basically just need to revise the saturday schedule, copy down my notepad, write down the list of
assignments, and probably do a few more loads of laundry.
that is all for sofos journal for today though so goodbye until next time!!
today is vibes
oops i signed the date 9/23/24
anyway today i was playing overwatch and i wanted to play mercy but i am only level 3 and they added a thing where everyone can
see what level you are :| some of the players it matches me up with are like level 50+ on multiple heroes and i'm level 17 on
moira and level 3 on mercy lol. but i decided to play mercy and i actually did pretty well!! i got like 10,000 healing and even a
few eliminations. but as they say, you should stop playing after a really good game so that you don't have a really bad game next!
that is why i am not playing now, and also because i have other things to do, like copy literally all my google keep notes into
my notepad. i have like 60 google keep notes annoyingly, why do i make so many, but all of them are important though. i do not
feel like copying any of them. also it is freezing cold in my house, why!!! and the problem is that i have a notepad that is the
exact perfect size, shape, texture, spiral bound, etc, but it has those tear-out pages and i just know that after a week or two or
a month of flipping through it the pages are going to start falling out everywhere without me noticing, and people will read them.
:(.
anyway there is another one of those big houses you can get in animal jam without spending money or being a member or whatever, i
played a bunch of games to get gems to buy it!! i have no clue how i will decorate it. but my house den thing on my first account
is still decorated with a bunch of happy new year 2024 stuff which is amazing!! but does that mean the last time i played on that
account was the beginning of 2024?? that is a long time ago. soon it shall be the beginning of 2026, which i hope will be a
thoroughly good year. in my opinion 2024 was an extremely lame year and 2025 hasn't been that much better, although i did make my
perfect schedule and also this website in 2025! so it might be one of those years that is good once you look back on it. 2024 will
never be good looking back though! it was a boring and not good year and i do not approve of it at all.
wait, i never wrote my dream down this morning, so now i don't know what it was. that is too bad. maybe it was a bad dream though
so maybe i don't want to know about it.
wait i remember my dream! my mom was the president of the united states and she asked me to put a mattress outside in the grass
for some reason. so i did, and then she got mad at me that i put the mattress in the grass. why! i was mad at her that she was mad
at me for doing the thing she asked. and she kept arguing with me but using so many fallacies. my sister was there too and my mom
said that my sister is better than me because she is in the navy! what! so i said, "well i'm in the army!"
my mom is nice in real life though. also, i recently joined my sister's wordle club because she plays wordle with her wordle
classmates. this morning i guessed the word in only four guesses (not that impressive though lol). my guesses went like this:
wiser, quack, youth, mouth. it was surprising to get 4 green letters suddenly after getting like none lol. (sorry if i spoiled the
wordle of the day for you)
my second favorite fountain pen is almost out of ink which is a great misfortune. my first favorite fountain pen ran out of ink a
long time ago, like last year or maybe two years ago i am not sure. it was a pink preppy and this one is a black preppy. my mom
gave them to me in 2023 i think. i used to use the pink one for journaling about good days and the black one for journaling about
bad days. except, i lost my journal so i do not know where it is. i think i shall make a page on my website that is a list of all
the items i have lost. anyway, i finally washed some of my huge laundry pile but i am going to do some more soon. i also re-
evaluated my entire wardrobe and i think i am going to give a bunch of my clothing away. a bunch of it is just random t-shirts that
got handed down to me by my older sisters, and a bunch is stuff i spontaneously got from the thrift store a long time ago. so it
can go back to the thrift store! but i heard that thrift stores sometimes throw away clothes because they can't fit it all in
there, but maybe that they also send it to other countries or something? i just don't want to be wasteful is all, i feel kind of
guilty that i am picky even though i already have functional clothing. i am not going to buy a lot of new clothing all at once or
anything, because i want to get things that are not made out of polyester, and those are usually a bit more expensive lol. so i
have to save up for the things i actually want. i really want to get more dresses and skirts because they are my favorite to wear
(i do really love cargo pants though). actually i have a pair of huge baggy cargo pants and the fabric kind of makes a crunching
sound every time i walk in them, and it's a super nice dark bluish grayish color. those are my favorite thing and i love to wear it
with my gigantic thick long stretchy soft cardigan because it makes me look like a walking cardigan monster wearing cargo pants.
that cardigan is also a hand me down from my sister but she has the best cardigans and sweaters!! the t-shirts are no but the
cardigans are yes.
anyway, i have accomplished so much on my to-do list! i am basically up to date on it. these are the things i have done on my t
-do list: shop for school supplies, make new schedules, make e and f thumbnails, appointment with advisor, color charlie, copy
schedules, mom bday present shopping, make bread pudding, do some laundry, review class homework and note taking. these are the
things i still need to do: figure out lunch, copy google keep and lunch into notepad, more laundry, establish way to note taking.
i also need to pack my backpack tomorrow because aaaaaaaaaaa it is my last day before school starts!! i am excited!! but also not
excited because i don't really like school or anything because sometimes it feels kind of meaningless lol. and i don't have any
friends there. however i can do homework calls with my existing friends so that is nice actually. and i can do fall ambience and
tea because school is fall and fall is vibes. sometimes i just feel like my life is not going anywhere, it is just the same thing
every single day, and even if i have the type of life i want it will not be satisfying! but i also like it when life is kind of
monotonous, because it's kind of nice. i guess maybe i am worried that i will fail all my classes again like i did the last two
quarters. that would be very not good. if i eat and sleep well i think i will be able to make it through!! lately my heart rate
has not been as high, and my weight has even been a little bit higher. i even consumed an entire tonkotsu ramen today so i am
possibly able to eat like a regular person now. although, i am still very tired sometimes, such as today when i slept for 10 hours
and 39 minutes. i do not think i will have time to sleep that long during school time. perhaps i will just drink nice coffee.
currently i am procrastinating writing down my schedules and i have no idea why, since i love writing down schedules. so far i have
written down my sunday schedules but not any of my other ones. what a bother. i am also hungry which is the worst because it makes
me feel annoyed about everything. like i keep hearing sounds from the other room and it is making me annoyed, but i do not want to
be annoyed about it :(.
i have discovered chips and salsa! except, the salsa was not cold! so i am waiting for the salsa to be cold and then i shall eat it
deliciously.
i am slightly behind on my schedule though so i must catch up on some of the things i need to do. mainly budgeting and ordering
gifts for everyone's birthdays and Christmas for the next 3 months. because of the drawing challenge thing, all of september,
october, and november is filled with drawing every day. so in december i can buy presents for people, but that is only any good for
people with january birthdays. except, i am also poor and do not make any money. i think i will get a job next summer but i
probably need to know how to drive first. i am planning to do more driving practice! i do not want to take that driving test
though, because the people are always grumpy and kind of mean sometimes. like one time i had the audacity to slow down before going
through one of those neighborhood intersections, and the guy had a whole rant about how i shouldn't do that. so now when i go
driving with my dad i don't slow down for intersections since it's so bad, and then my dad is upset that i don't do it. so i guess
it probably just depends on the situation.
i think i shall soon make a dedicated page for complaining so i don't complain so much in my nice sofos journal page. anyway, my
salsa is now cold and i am eating it deliciously so i am in a much better mood. i am very freezing cold for some reason though.
maybe i could also take the bus to my job, that would probably work. i just want to make some money so that i am less poor
HELLO YES i am alive again!! there is nothing interesting happening ever though! i am just going back to school soon and everything
so i am mostly organizing everything ever. right now i am waiting for some glue to dry because the pages of my favorite notebook
are falling out and they need glue. i am using the notebook as a nice planner because my favorite planner is for 2026 only. when my
glue is dry i shall schedule my 26 drawing art challenge i think, which i need to work on every day of the week until the end of
november, or something.
oh yes i also need to make a link to this page since there is no link otherwise!
resetting until august!
i have now put a journal in case i want to journal! (the answer is yes)