10:36am
HAPPY OCTOBER!!!! it is officially not september anymore!!! yay!!! i am not necessarily a september fan but it is not like i
dislike it. it is the same thing as march where it is in the middle of two seasons annoyingly. i just want it to be chilly out so
i can wear sweaters and cardigans without overheating. anyway i keep awkwardly running into this one girl who is in my computer
class and my math class. the most awkward thing was when she was sitting at one of the tables in the math building and i THOUGHT
she said "hi" to me so i went over and was like "hi you're in my computer class!" and she just stared at me and then she started
taking out her earbuds which i did not realize she had in so i immediately felt guilty for bothering her. and she was like,
"sorry what?" and i just repeated what i said again and then she stared at me some more so i just went away then. i sit right next
to her too and now she probably thinks i am some insane person. i was absolutely sure i heard her say hi though!! anyway just now
i was in the bathroom of the math building and i was about to go out and she came right in and made eye contact with me! why must
there be eye contact! so in case you ever feel like an awkward person just remember that i am more awkward
also i am reading the most amazing book called though my soul more bent by maria kreiser and i have been reading it for like 3
years at this point because i kept starting over lol. also i am a really slow reader. the number one reason to have bookmarks is
so that you will stop starting over, no matter how much you are tempted to. i got a bookmark and started reading whenever i am on
the bus so now i am finally halfway through! it is even a true story and i just want to know what is going to happen to her! it is
really sad though so i would not recommend it for people who do not like sad things :( i shall have to add a review of it to my
new reviews page! i am not good at writing reviews at all, but i still wanted to have a reviews page.
also there was an attractive guy in the math building giving out free little apple and strawberry strudels or whatever those
things were. i said that i will take a strawberry one because there are not as many left so that must mean they are more popular.
he agreed about that. my dad said i must visit the math lab if i ever need math help. i will feel guilty for taking a math lab
strawberry strudel and never visiting the math lab, so i will certainly visit if i ever need math help!! it is so scary though
because it is always crowded with so many math people so if you come in they will probably talk to you, and i do not want them to
talk to me! i do like people and everything but whenever someone says something to me i am too surprised to think of a very good
response. i bet that is what happens to the staring girl also. i must go to my math class now so goodbye!
6:50pm
i am such blegh because i accidentally saw some mean comments on youtube which bothered me. anyway that was a while ago but i am
doing homework right now but the assignment is so tedious. it's all like how does this character use ethos pathos logos kairos, is
the character successful, what is the message of the story, how does the author use ethos pathos logos kairos, is the author
successful, etc. it is literally not difficult to answer any of these questions but it is sometimes stressful because i have way
too many thoughts for my own good. like i could write a 150 word response just explaining how the character uses ethos! but i am
supposed to write 150 words for the whole thing! i managed to get my response down to about 300 words but i spent like an hour
on this somehow because i am really thorough :/
and i have another entire question i have to answer and it will probably take forever because i hate writing because it takes so
much thinking. this is why i am a math major, because it does not require writing or thinking lol. the thinking is mostly "do i
know how to do math or am i stupid" and in english class it's like "i keep using the word 'very' too often and all my sentences
start with 'however' and did i accidentally make it sound like an ai wrote it and why can i not just put the link to the website
instead of using mla format and oh no my research idea was too controversial and oops i cant use first person and oh all my words
need to come out of the darkest corners of a thesaurus or else i will look like an idiot!!"
anyway i was reconsidering my opinion about writing because i do like some types of writing actually, like journaling or putting
things on my website and sometimes working on my story (which i actually had soo much inspiration for yesterday yay). but the
reason i like doing those things is because they make it so i can remove the thoughts from my brain and put them in the paper.
whereas homework writing is always causing me to have unneccessary and meaningless thoughts! it is so obvious that poor mr. eckels
is using pathos and kairos but he doesn't use it well enough to keep from getting killed... but why must i think about it
extensively! the meaning of the story is so obvious without overthinking! (the story we had to read was 'a sound of thunder' which
is an amazing story and you probably have already read it because it is quite well known.)
anyway that is my rant and yes i am kind of just putting a bunch of nonsense that probably does not make any sense. this is
literally my second time retaking english 201 because i kept procrastinating the essays and then failing and withdrawing lol. but
i mean there were some medical related things that were going on at the same time also, it was not entirely me being stupid. if i
was taking english for the first time i would most likely hate it less.
i mostly just want to watch a star trek but i have no idea if that will happen ever in my life. my dad vanished and he is my star
trek dad who i watch star trek with. i have no idea what star trek we would even watch but i kind of really want to watch an
enterprise. i want to see t'pol because she is basically my favorite. i was supposed to finish my homework before star trekking
but the issue is that my dad goes to bed at like 9pm and usually we start a show at 7pm and right now it is 7:23pm. wait i really
really want to watch a voyager because i miss captain janeway. she is actually my favorite captain to exist. and she is in love
with chakotay. i too am in love with chakotay.
i also miss my sister because i have not seen her in ages but we did have a very long video chat yesterday. she has a huge crush
on her friend who is apparently the sweetest and most amazing person ever. and they are also study buddies and have done various
cute things together like going to the harry potter play. and he bought a kitkat for her because she loves kitkat. i am very happy
for her that she has now found the best person!! i approve of him greatly. but i think i will not find the best person because i
am not myself the best person. at least i shall perhaps become a nice data scientist and have some data science friends. i have no
idea. somehow the world feels like it is a good place and a bad place at the same time. like i need to hide in case something bad
happens to me, but also if i don't go and find the good people then something bad will happen to them instead. i have no clue if
that makes any sense at all lol. i am so emotional today because everything feels so dark and lonely but also peaceful? and it
makes me feel very sad. i really love animals though and i kind of want to be a fish or something. maybe after watching a star
trek i shall watch a documentary about fish.
12:56pm
today i decided to look in my favorite mirror in the math building because they have a giant mirror that is perfect for checking
my outfit. anyway, my computer building was a 10 minute walk across campus but i only had 8 minutes to get there. i managed to get
to class just in time! i was surprised to notice my heart rate was like 178 bpm! anyway, after computer class i had math class so
i had to walk back to the math building again. i thought i could find a better route and get there more quickly, but instead i
found a worse route and got lost which led to me getting there 1 minute late :|
anyway i am now in english class and technically class started but we have a free writing time for like 7 minutes so i am freely
writing on my website. next time maybe i will update my website in my one hour break instead of during class lol. we are allowed
to write about whatever we want or use the prompt, but the prompt is "what are your goals and expectations for this class" which
is my least favorite prompt so i am writing about whatever i want instead.
also i was planning to sit in the front row of all my classes but i accidentally sat in the back row of english on the first day
of class so now i have to keep sitting here so i don't steal anyone's spot. but now there is an empty seat in the front row where
i could have sat and that table is even full of cute guys :( and it sounds like we are going to be in groups which means i cannot
even sit there next time or else i would be abandoning my group! anyway but goodbye because i must focus for the rest of my
class!!
7:28pm
today was my first day back at college nicely! it was a good day and all my professors were nice. i have a better way to take
notes and keep track of my assignments this quarter than last quarter. sadly i do have to sacrifice some note prettiness but it is
worth it in the end. anyway, it was too stressful to always make pretty notes. but my notes still look nice because i use a black
pen and highlight or circle the titles.
anyway, i was very productive just now because i nicely moved 14gb of videos to my non-main account. what happened is that i
wanted to transfer my photos from my ipod to my google account before my ipod withers away, so i set it to download photos to my
main account. everything was fine until a few days later i was getting alerts that i used up 95% of my storage. i am pretty sure i
only made this account back in july so it is basically brand new and should not have that much storage used on it! it is my
favorite account ever <3 but i do have a few other favorites though! i definitely do not have more than the recommended number
of google accounts so do not worry!
unfortunately i must do 2 hours of homework pretty soon but that is because i must homework. to be honest i don't have very many
assignments since this was my very first day back, but there were a lot of readings that i should probably take notes on. i am
behind on my schedule so i am only going to do homework and my to do list every day until i am caught up. probably it will just be
a day or two because i basically just need to revise the saturday schedule, copy down my notepad, write down the list of
assignments, and probably do a few more loads of laundry.
that is all for sofos journal for today though so goodbye until next time!!
today is vibes
oops i signed the date 9/23/24
anyway today i was playing overwatch and i wanted to play mercy but i am only level 3 and they added a thing where everyone can
see what level you are :| some of the players it matches me up with are like level 50+ on multiple heroes and i'm level 17 on
moira and level 3 on mercy lol. but i decided to play mercy and i actually did pretty well!! i got like 10,000 healing and even a
few eliminations. but as they say, you should stop playing after a really good game so that you don't have a really bad game next!
that is why i am not playing now, and also because i have other things to do, like copy literally all my google keep notes into
my notepad. i have like 60 google keep notes annoyingly, why do i make so many, but all of them are important though. i do not
feel like copying any of them. also it is freezing cold in my house, why!!! and the problem is that i have a notepad that is the
exact perfect size, shape, texture, spiral bound, etc, but it has those tear-out pages and i just know that after a week or two or
a month of flipping through it the pages are going to start falling out everywhere without me noticing, and people will read them.
:(.
anyway there is another one of those big houses you can get in animal jam without spending money or being a member or whatever, i
played a bunch of games to get gems to buy it!! i have no clue how i will decorate it. but my house den thing on my first account
is still decorated with a bunch of happy new year 2024 stuff which is amazing!! but does that mean the last time i played on that
account was the beginning of 2024?? that is a long time ago. soon it shall be the beginning of 2026, which i hope will be a
thoroughly good year. in my opinion 2024 was an extremely lame year and 2025 hasn't been that much better, although i did make my
perfect schedule and also this website in 2025! so it might be one of those years that is good once you look back on it. 2024 will
never be good looking back though! it was a boring and not good year and i do not approve of it at all.
wait, i never wrote my dream down this morning, so now i don't know what it was. that is too bad. maybe it was a bad dream though
so maybe i don't want to know about it.
wait i remember my dream! my mom was the president of the united states and she asked me to put a mattress outside in the grass
for some reason. so i did, and then she got mad at me that i put the mattress in the grass. why! i was mad at her that she was mad
at me for doing the thing she asked. and she kept arguing with me but using so many fallacies. my sister was there too and my mom
said that my sister is better than me because she is in the navy! what! so i said, "well i'm in the army!"
my mom is nice in real life though. also, i recently joined my sister's wordle club because she plays wordle with her wordle
classmates. this morning i guessed the word in only four guesses (not that impressive though lol). my guesses went like this:
wiser, quack, youth, mouth. it was surprising to get 4 green letters suddenly after getting like none lol. (sorry if i spoiled the
wordle of the day for you)
my second favorite fountain pen is almost out of ink which is a great misfortune. my first favorite fountain pen ran out of ink a
long time ago, like last year or maybe two years ago i am not sure. it was a pink preppy and this one is a black preppy. my mom
gave them to me in 2023 i think. i used to use the pink one for journaling about good days and the black one for journaling about
bad days. except, i lost my journal so i do not know where it is. i think i shall make a page on my website that is a list of all
the items i have lost. anyway, i finally washed some of my huge laundry pile but i am going to do some more soon. i also re-
evaluated my entire wardrobe and i think i am going to give a bunch of my clothing away. a bunch of it is just random t-shirts that
got handed down to me by my older sisters, and a bunch is stuff i spontaneously got from the thrift store a long time ago. so it
can go back to the thrift store! but i heard that thrift stores sometimes throw away clothes because they can't fit it all in
there, but maybe that they also send it to other countries or something? i just don't want to be wasteful is all, i feel kind of
guilty that i am picky even though i already have functional clothing. i am not going to buy a lot of new clothing all at once or
anything, because i want to get things that are not made out of polyester, and those are usually a bit more expensive lol. so i
have to save up for the things i actually want. i really want to get more dresses and skirts because they are my favorite to wear
(i do really love cargo pants though). actually i have a pair of huge baggy cargo pants and the fabric kind of makes a crunching
sound every time i walk in them, and it's a super nice dark bluish grayish color. those are my favorite thing and i love to wear it
with my gigantic thick long stretchy soft cardigan because it makes me look like a walking cardigan monster wearing cargo pants.
that cardigan is also a hand me down from my sister but she has the best cardigans and sweaters!! the t-shirts are no but the
cardigans are yes.
anyway, i have accomplished so much on my to-do list! i am basically up to date on it. these are the things i have done on my t
-do list: shop for school supplies, make new schedules, make e and f thumbnails, appointment with advisor, color charlie, copy
schedules, mom bday present shopping, make bread pudding, do some laundry, review class homework and note taking. these are the
things i still need to do: figure out lunch, copy google keep and lunch into notepad, more laundry, establish way to note taking.
i also need to pack my backpack tomorrow because aaaaaaaaaaa it is my last day before school starts!! i am excited!! but also not
excited because i don't really like school or anything because sometimes it feels kind of meaningless lol. and i don't have any
friends there. however i can do homework calls with my existing friends so that is nice actually. and i can do fall ambience and
tea because school is fall and fall is vibes. sometimes i just feel like my life is not going anywhere, it is just the same thing
every single day, and even if i have the type of life i want it will not be satisfying! but i also like it when life is kind of
monotonous, because it's kind of nice. i guess maybe i am worried that i will fail all my classes again like i did the last two
quarters. that would be very not good. if i eat and sleep well i think i will be able to make it through!! lately my heart rate
has not been as high, and my weight has even been a little bit higher. i even consumed an entire tonkotsu ramen today so i am
possibly able to eat like a regular person now. although, i am still very tired sometimes, such as today when i slept for 10 hours
and 39 minutes. i do not think i will have time to sleep that long during school time. perhaps i will just drink nice coffee.
currently i am procrastinating writing down my schedules and i have no idea why, since i love writing down schedules. so far i have
written down my sunday schedules but not any of my other ones. what a bother. i am also hungry which is the worst because it makes
me feel annoyed about everything. like i keep hearing sounds from the other room and it is making me annoyed, but i do not want to
be annoyed about it :(.
i have discovered chips and salsa! except, the salsa was not cold! so i am waiting for the salsa to be cold and then i shall eat it
deliciously.
i am slightly behind on my schedule though so i must catch up on some of the things i need to do. mainly budgeting and ordering
gifts for everyone's birthdays and Christmas for the next 3 months. because of the drawing challenge thing, all of september,
october, and november is filled with drawing every day. so in december i can buy presents for people, but that is only any good for
people with january birthdays. except, i am also poor and do not make any money. i think i will get a job next summer but i
probably need to know how to drive first. i am planning to do more driving practice! i do not want to take that driving test
though, because the people are always grumpy and kind of mean sometimes. like one time i had the audacity to slow down before going
through one of those neighborhood intersections, and the guy had a whole rant about how i shouldn't do that. so now when i go
driving with my dad i don't slow down for intersections since it's so bad, and then my dad is upset that i don't do it. so i guess
it probably just depends on the situation.
i think i shall soon make a dedicated page for complaining so i don't complain so much in my nice sofos journal page. anyway, my
salsa is now cold and i am eating it deliciously so i am in a much better mood. i am very freezing cold for some reason though.
maybe i could also take the bus to my job, that would probably work. i just want to make some money so that i am less poor
HELLO YES i am alive again!! there is nothing interesting happening ever though! i am just going back to school soon and everything
so i am mostly organizing everything ever. right now i am waiting for some glue to dry because the pages of my favorite notebook
are falling out and they need glue. i am using the notebook as a nice planner because my favorite planner is for 2026 only. when my
glue is dry i shall schedule my 26 drawing art challenge i think, which i need to work on every day of the week until the end of
november, or something.
oh yes i also need to make a link to this page since there is no link otherwise!
resetting until august!
i have now put a journal in case i want to journal! (the answer is yes)